Thursday, September 23, 2010


Here's a notice to all the ladies...if you're looking for the perfect man, you might as well give up....I've already got him.

Now you guys out there may be wondering how my husband got such a high rating on the "Perfect Man" scale this week...I'm more than happy to share it with's one word....RELENTLESS.

My husband and I have been attending a class at church called "Marriage Matters." In one of the first classes we attended the facilitator reminded us that we need to be relentless in pursuing our mate. In one example, he specifically challenged the guys to remember all the things they had done to win their mate.

Sebastian and I just celebrated our 18th wedding anniversary. On my desk is a framed copy of 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. Just a week or so after we started dating, as I was leaving for work at about 7 in the morning, I found this paper on the windshield of my car. If you look closely, you can see the faded handwriting which says, "I love you Tina more than you can possibly imagine" and the date of Sept. 9, 1991. Just shy of a year later on Sept. 5, 1992, we were married.

In those early months of dating and even early years of marriage, I was surprised many times with handwritten notes of love or beautifully written cards. Not so much now, at least not generally in a spontaneous way. Well, the relentless reminder was all my husband needed.

About a week after the class, I backed into someone's car while dropping the boys off at football practice. Didn't do a lot of damage, but I was sure our insurance premium would go up.

I didn't know how to tell my husband, but to just come out with it. If you know my husband, and you've ever seen him really mad, then you can surely visualize how he rolled his eyes and threw his hands up and shook his head at my news. I ancitipated lots of shouting, questions, general angriness. But not this time.

He didn't even say anything, but just walked out the house and drove away. Now you may be wondering what kind of twisted story am I recounting here....just....wait...for it.......

He returned several hours later, but didn't even mention the accident or our earlier conversation. I figured I'd better practice wisdom and silence and not mention it either.

The next morning when I went out to take the kids to school, I found a card with my name on it, sitting on the steering wheel of my car.

I opened it and in part it read, "Have I mentioned lately that I love you? Do you know how many times during the day I think of you?" So you can about imagine that I was already crying. And then I opened the card, and I saw his familiar handwriting on the side...and it started...."What do you say when saying I love you seems too small and inadequate? How do you show someone how much you love them when just being with them makes you feel loved?"

Well..I could scarcely drive home fast enough to catch him before he left for work. All I could do was run and fling my arms around his neck, and kiss him with passion and say, "Thank you. I really needed that."
I didn't expect it. And could argue that I didn't even deserve it. But isn't that like God to show us a picture of His love for us through the model of marriage.

So yes...I have the Perfect Man. Marriage is a lot of work. But you have to be RELENTLESS--both husbands and wives. Marriage IS putting the needs of someone else above your own. It is SACRIFICE. Love is NOT a feeling. LOVE is a COMMITMENT!

WOW. I am grateful to have my best friend to share my life with.


  1. I am so late with the comments..but I cannot choose to let this one go by without saying that you truly nailed it. This is what marriage is about. I too have been married for a long time- 23 years actually and not sure if I could have articulated in this manner but thank you for putting it out there. You must be relentless!!!

    1. So yes, my reply may be coming 5 years late, and we have now hit the 23 year mark ourselves, but this was such a great reminder today. We all need that from time to time to rekindle that relentless spirit toward our spouses.