Sunday, February 28, 2016

The God Who sees me

Have you ever found yourself sitting in your closet crying to God, "I can't do this anymore?" It may have been a figurative crying or, like me, it may have been a literal reaching the end of your rope. In any event, whatever your "this" was, you are not alone. I feel your pain. I was at the point of utter emotional exhaustion, knowing that nobody had the answer but God.

I love the fact that even in that most vulnerable and wounded place, my God meets me there. He sees me and He reminds me that I am not alone. One of my favorite verses comes from the Old Testament story of Hagar when she fled with her son Ishmael. Gen. 16:13, she said, "You are the God who sees me." (El Roi)

Over the summer, I traveled to North Carolina to help my mom do some work around her house. There was a ton of stuff that needed to be done and I had plans to get on the road before too late. True to my nature, I tried to fit in one more To-Do before getting on the road. I started the 8-hour solo drive at about 6 pm. I was exhausted. I had been at my mom's for a week, pulling days that started at 7 am each day and ended at midnight. Crash for a few hours. Wake. Repeat. I thought I could make it home.

Somewhere in West Virginia about 1 am in the morning, I had pulled off an exit to get something to eat and to get gas. It was night. It was very dark. It was very foggy. I was very tired.

I pulled back on to the ramp to get back on the Interstate. I had my GPS going and was listening to my book on tape. It was so foggy that visibility was extremely low. Then I begin to notice headlights coming. The vehicle passed. Later on down the road, another passed on the other side. That seemed weird. I checked the GPS again. It said I was on the right Interstate. When the next vehicle passed me, it seemed to veer around me more so than just pass me by. Then another did the same thing. I began to suspect that maybe my GPS was leading me wrong. I pulled off and checked my GPS again. And again, it said I was on the right Interstate.

I pulled back on again. And the same thing happened. Cars and semi-trucks seemed to veer around me. Something wasn't right. I pulled off again to check my GPS. I had the strong feeling that I was going the wrong way. I decided to turn around. I sat on the shoulder and sure enough the next vehicle passed going int he direction that my car was now pointed. I figured if nothing else. I would go the same direction the car had just gone and if I ended up a few miles down the road, I could just get off at the next exit. I did end up driving about 5 miles before I saw the next exit sign that revealed to me that I had truly been traveling on the correct Interstate, but in the wrong direction.

So those cars and semi-trucks that were veering to my right and to my left were not just passing me, they were avoiding me. I clearly understand in that moment that I should have been dead. And tragically, if I had collided with another vehicle, not only would I have been killed, but likely would have killed someone else. It was extremely sobering.

And for the next several miles, I prayed asking God, "Why me? Why had I been spared?" In my spiritual imagination I envisioned His angels atop my mini-van, saying "Nope" and moved that car to the left. "Nope" and moved that semi-truck to the right. Protecting both me and the other drivers. It confirmed for me that God has a purpose for me. I should have been dead, but He left me here. "What is my assignment?"

And so all the more, I am pressing toward Him, wanting more of Him, to go deeper, grow closer, to accomplish what He left me here to do.

So back to the beginning. If you have had that moment of utter brokenness and have cried out to God from that deepest place in you Spirit, He is El Roi, the God Who sees you. If you have had that encounter when you feel His power and presence at work and you are striving for even more obedience, He is El Roi, the God Who sees you.

Be encouraged! Wherever you are along the road, His hand is upon you. He has a purpose. He has a plan. And that is truly a WOW Moment!


  1. LOVE this!!! There have been major times when I sensed I was driving in the wrong direction. So thankful God spared me. Even when I am certain I am leaving Him shaking His proverbial head, I am ASSURED of His love and direction. I just need to be reminded that 1. I need to be on the right road (His road), and 2. He sees ahead and behind and all the places in between, including into my heart of hearts. May I ever be in His will. Ever seeking. Ever following. Beautiful writing, sister!~

    1. I love that He meets us where we are. For me, as a writer, sometimes He speaks to me in illustrations...things I see around me, but I know it has a spiritual implication. Sometimes, He has to make it so plain that He isn't figurative at all, but literally He shows me very clearly WHO He is in my life. Thanks for taking the time to comment. The encouragement is a blessing!

  2. Thank God!!!He is always with us and taking care of us.but we are not realizing it.This kind of situations only we are realizing it.

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    1. I totally agree. God takes care of us every day. Things we see. Things we are unaware of. It is in seeing and acknowledging God that I appreciate how intimate He is. He cares for me. I am grateful for the times I get to see His hand of protection, but I know that there are so many more ways that He has protected me that I will never know in this lifetime.