If you read my last blog, then you know just a few weeks ago, I was experiencing a true crisis of faith. I'd come to a turning point in my spiritual journey and I had to figure out did I really live my life as if I believed God's Word.
Now, it may be easy to say, "Well if you're a real Christian, then you must believe God's Word." And although ordinarily I would agree with you in a general way, I would ask you to go a bit deeper in your analysis.
As Christians, we say, "Heaven is my home, and this earth, we're just passing through." Really! Then I would say that if we Christians really lived our lives like Heaven is our home, then why do we spend so much time trying to store up treasures here, than in Heaven where we intend to spend eternity.
Or closer to the subject at hand, we say, "Let go, and let God." But then most of us set about putting into motion Plan B.
And that is where my struggle was. I know that God is faithful, that He sees everything, that He will take care of His own. But in my situation, I had to ask myself, "If I really believe God is faithful, then shouldn't my reaction to this situation be different. If I'm going to say I trust God, then shouldn't that belief transform my reactions to the everyday missteps, failures, blunders, disappointments that I face."
I had to go back to a lesson that God had taught me many years ago. In spite of how the situation had worked out, I had to take time out to remind myself of what I knew to be true about God. He is a provider. He is not able to see a need and not provide for it. He cannot lie. His purposes will always be fulfilled. He loves me with a love that will never end.
And as I mediated on these things day in and day out, I had to see my situation from a different vantage point....not from where I could see, but from where God could see. And just by changing my perspective, it changed my response.
Now, I'm here to tell you that this was not a one day turn around. It took me about two weeks to speak truth to myself. And sometimes in those very dark times in our lives, we have to know that if we have accepted Christ as Savior, then the Holy Spirit lives in us. He teaches us spiritual truth and He transforms us from the inside out. So in those times, I choose to just take my junk to God and tell Him honestly how I feel, and ask all of the questions that I have, and sometimes that means literally just crying to Him. And then when all of that is done, I trust that the Holy Spirit has translated all of that and spoke to God on my behalf, filtering out the nonsense. And then I trust, that if I come before God long enough even in my broken state, His Spirit will comfort me, and His Spirit will speak truth to my spirit and help me to move from darkness to light....to the place where I can again seek God, pray, praise, worship.
As a sidenote....when we say we are too busy to read our Bible, or do anymore than just attend church on Sunday and wait for the pastor to spoon feed us...we miss out on the many truths that God has put in His word to encourage us. One that I came across once in my personal study is Hebrews 7:25 which says, "Therefore, Jesus is able once and forever to save those who came to God through Him because He lives forever to intercede with God on their behalf."
Don't miss that. Jesus Himself, our Savior, our friend, our Redeemer, He lives to go to God for me. Is there any greater advocate that I could have on my behalf than the Son of God to plead my case, and stand up for me. WOW! If that doesn't give you goosebumps I don't know what will. That blew me away when I first read and truly understood and embraced it. So that was one of those truths God had to speak to my Spirit in the darkness. He had to remind me of who He is and what He sacrificed that I might be able to come to Him as Father.
But in His greatness, He didn't stop there.
You'll have to stop by one more time to see how the story got even better. In the next edition, I'll tell you not just what He said to me, but what the amazing things He did!
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Crisis of faith--Part 1
I've been on a spiritual journey now for about the last two years or so. It started when God began to awakening in me this sense that there was more to being a Christ, to following Christ, to having an intimate relationship with Him. I knew I was missing something and my heart longed to draw closer to my Savior.
I was introduced to a book called "Jesus on Leadership." If you've never read it, pick it, get some friends and do a study together. It WILL change your life. Then Matthew West put out a song called, "Motions" and the song turned my life upside-down. I realized I was doing a lot of good things for God, but I wasn't really looking to God to doing any God-sized things in and through my life.
So my hunger for God grew and I kept asking myself the questions of what did it really mean to follow Christ, to be sold out to Him, to die to self daily? What would my faith story looked like if I truly lived out and beleived God for all the things I knew to be true about Him and the kind of life He wanted me to lead?
So God has been challenging me, and growing me, and pruning me. And I have just tried to be as honest and transparent with God as I could be.
And then a couple of weeks ago, I had the opportunity to apply for a position. I've been a stay-at home-mom off and on for the past 11 years...and totally at home for the past 7 years. But now that all of our kids are in school, it made sense to start looking for a full-time job. The decision to live on one income was a sacrifice we had chosen, but it had started to really strain our finances. The job would literally change our lives.
Well, long story short, after 3 interviews over the course of about 4 months, I was really hopeful. Friends and family were praying, offering words of encouragement, and some even outright saying the job was mine. There were Scripture passages that came up in Bible studies and sermons that felt like confirmation that this was where I was supposed to be. I prayed earnestly and felt very positive about the interviews. But then I didn't get the job.
To say I was devastated would be a gross understatement. And to my surprise, I went into a tailspin of a faith crisis. I couldn't understand what had happened....and not just about the job, I struggled to understand why I was responding the way I was.
I was so frustrated and confused with God...that I didn't even know where to begin. I felt isolated and abandoned by my faith. I remember sitting in my car one morning fighting back tears because I couldn't even afford to buy my son a cup of coffee at the gas station. And in that moment, I just looked at my life and thought...this is not really what I signed up...this is not how I thought my life would be in my 40s. After all, my husband has a Ph.D. and a I have a master's degree. We got our education, we loved the Lord, we were working to raise our children to know God.
I was at a lost. I was obviously missing something. Everything that was happening in my circumstances said one thing, but my experience with God said quite another.
Stay tuned to see how God spoke!
I was introduced to a book called "Jesus on Leadership." If you've never read it, pick it, get some friends and do a study together. It WILL change your life. Then Matthew West put out a song called, "Motions" and the song turned my life upside-down. I realized I was doing a lot of good things for God, but I wasn't really looking to God to doing any God-sized things in and through my life.
So my hunger for God grew and I kept asking myself the questions of what did it really mean to follow Christ, to be sold out to Him, to die to self daily? What would my faith story looked like if I truly lived out and beleived God for all the things I knew to be true about Him and the kind of life He wanted me to lead?
So God has been challenging me, and growing me, and pruning me. And I have just tried to be as honest and transparent with God as I could be.
And then a couple of weeks ago, I had the opportunity to apply for a position. I've been a stay-at home-mom off and on for the past 11 years...and totally at home for the past 7 years. But now that all of our kids are in school, it made sense to start looking for a full-time job. The decision to live on one income was a sacrifice we had chosen, but it had started to really strain our finances. The job would literally change our lives.
Well, long story short, after 3 interviews over the course of about 4 months, I was really hopeful. Friends and family were praying, offering words of encouragement, and some even outright saying the job was mine. There were Scripture passages that came up in Bible studies and sermons that felt like confirmation that this was where I was supposed to be. I prayed earnestly and felt very positive about the interviews. But then I didn't get the job.
To say I was devastated would be a gross understatement. And to my surprise, I went into a tailspin of a faith crisis. I couldn't understand what had happened....and not just about the job, I struggled to understand why I was responding the way I was.
I was so frustrated and confused with God...that I didn't even know where to begin. I felt isolated and abandoned by my faith. I remember sitting in my car one morning fighting back tears because I couldn't even afford to buy my son a cup of coffee at the gas station. And in that moment, I just looked at my life and thought...this is not really what I signed up...this is not how I thought my life would be in my 40s. After all, my husband has a Ph.D. and a I have a master's degree. We got our education, we loved the Lord, we were working to raise our children to know God.
I was at a lost. I was obviously missing something. Everything that was happening in my circumstances said one thing, but my experience with God said quite another.
Stay tuned to see how God spoke!
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
I'm not who I was
Brandon Heath has a song called, "I'm not who I was." I think the sentiment is exactly how I would sum up the perspective of my life when I look in the rearview mirror.
I was asked the question recently concerning how do I deal with difficult people. In the context, the person I thought of was a former colleague from some years ago. We had a good personal relationship, but seemed to have difficulties when it came to working together. At that time, I felt like my only recourse was to bring the situation to the attention of my supervisor, who actually did intervene.
But more recently, I have learned to deal with difficult people with a different perspective. Instead of looking at the person and wondering why they do the things they do, I turn the spotlight internally and ask the Lord, "Show me what it is that you want me to learn in this situation."
In one instance, I had someone who constantly bombarded me when I first arrived at church about issues that were quite trivial. Many Sundays it flustered me and it would get me so hyped up that those encounters would be with me all day. But after some time, when I stopped and asked God to "show me," this is what I learned.
Frankly, I learned that the situation really wasn't about her. In fact, even after I changed, it didn't change her actions. God was teaching me that I needed to spend more time in personal worship. He reminded me that the work I was trying to accomplish in His name could not be done in my own strength. When I learned to be prayed up and praised up before I walked through the doors, those encounters no longer had power over my day. It was a heart issue, but I had to invest my time looking into my heart instead of pointing the finger at someone else's.
So if I had to deal with that challenging co-worker now, my approach would be different. First, I would ask God to "show me what He wanted me to learn in that situation." Then, I would trust God to help me to show more grace, to be more prayerful, to respond with Christ's love in words and actions.
God is always willing to teach us, if we are willing to surrender to be more like Him.
My WOW Moment for today....I'm glad God has changed me and is changing me. I'm grateful that I can say with confidence, not boastfully, but knowing where God has brought me from.... "I'm not who I was."
So the next time you face a difficult situation or have to deal with a difficult person, are you willing to say to God," Father, show me...."
I was asked the question recently concerning how do I deal with difficult people. In the context, the person I thought of was a former colleague from some years ago. We had a good personal relationship, but seemed to have difficulties when it came to working together. At that time, I felt like my only recourse was to bring the situation to the attention of my supervisor, who actually did intervene.
But more recently, I have learned to deal with difficult people with a different perspective. Instead of looking at the person and wondering why they do the things they do, I turn the spotlight internally and ask the Lord, "Show me what it is that you want me to learn in this situation."
In one instance, I had someone who constantly bombarded me when I first arrived at church about issues that were quite trivial. Many Sundays it flustered me and it would get me so hyped up that those encounters would be with me all day. But after some time, when I stopped and asked God to "show me," this is what I learned.
Frankly, I learned that the situation really wasn't about her. In fact, even after I changed, it didn't change her actions. God was teaching me that I needed to spend more time in personal worship. He reminded me that the work I was trying to accomplish in His name could not be done in my own strength. When I learned to be prayed up and praised up before I walked through the doors, those encounters no longer had power over my day. It was a heart issue, but I had to invest my time looking into my heart instead of pointing the finger at someone else's.
So if I had to deal with that challenging co-worker now, my approach would be different. First, I would ask God to "show me what He wanted me to learn in that situation." Then, I would trust God to help me to show more grace, to be more prayerful, to respond with Christ's love in words and actions.
God is always willing to teach us, if we are willing to surrender to be more like Him.
My WOW Moment for today....I'm glad God has changed me and is changing me. I'm grateful that I can say with confidence, not boastfully, but knowing where God has brought me from.... "I'm not who I was."
So the next time you face a difficult situation or have to deal with a difficult person, are you willing to say to God," Father, show me...."
Sunday, January 9, 2011
A Christ-transformed Life!
Have you ever heard a song that literally changed the course of your life? I have. A little over a year ago I heard the song "The Motions" by Matthew West and it really did change my life. It reminded me that there has to be more to my Christian faith than just showing up on Sunday and doing "good" things.
I just felt like I was missing something, like God wanted a deeper relationship with me and that somehow I had gotten satisfied with my life as it was, comfortable with the status quo. I had gotten off track.
The song's chorus simply says, "I don't want to go through the motions, I don't want to go one more day, Without Your all-consuming passion inside of me. I don't want to spend my whole life asking, What if I had given everything, instead of going through the motions?"
As I looked at my life and did an honest evaluation of where my walk with God was, I had to admit that it seemed stale. I wasn't growing, I wasn't being challenged in my faith, and though I felt like I was doing "good" stuff--I was giving and serving (and at that time I was actually leading a ministry), I didn't feel like I was experiencing God's best for me. As a matter of fact, although on the outside it may have seemed like I had it all together spiritually, on the inside, I wanted MORE. I knew that most days I was living my Christian walk in my own strength, and I really wanted to live a life that meant something more, that was fueled by the power of the Holy Spirit.
So the song was the start...a spark to make me ask the questions, "What am I doing with my life? Am I really leading a life that has been transformed? And maybe, more importantly, if I had to stand before God in that moment, Would He say that I was living a life that had been transformed AND that was transforming the lives of others?"
And when I asked those questions, I wasn't very happy with the answers. And I am grateful to God that He gave me the courage not just to ask the questions, but to hear the truthful answers, and then to have the boldness to make a change.
So that was the start, and now just over a year later, I'm still looking to God to change me from the inside out...to teach me to be still enough to hear and recognize His voice, to be aware enougth to see where He is moving and jump in and be a part of what His mission is, to be sensitive enough to be moved by what moves Him, to be humble enough to see where I still need to surrender to Him, and to be willing enough to go where He leads.
Two WOW Moment Scriptures for today....when God speaks a Scripture to you in different ways...you'd better take notice....I read both of these Scriptures in my devotions this week, and they were used today in Sunday School. So I had to take a moment to recognize God speaking....
Philippians 3: 10, "I want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in His suffering, becoming like Him in His death."
Matthew 22:37, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind."
I just felt like I was missing something, like God wanted a deeper relationship with me and that somehow I had gotten satisfied with my life as it was, comfortable with the status quo. I had gotten off track.
The song's chorus simply says, "I don't want to go through the motions, I don't want to go one more day, Without Your all-consuming passion inside of me. I don't want to spend my whole life asking, What if I had given everything, instead of going through the motions?"
As I looked at my life and did an honest evaluation of where my walk with God was, I had to admit that it seemed stale. I wasn't growing, I wasn't being challenged in my faith, and though I felt like I was doing "good" stuff--I was giving and serving (and at that time I was actually leading a ministry), I didn't feel like I was experiencing God's best for me. As a matter of fact, although on the outside it may have seemed like I had it all together spiritually, on the inside, I wanted MORE. I knew that most days I was living my Christian walk in my own strength, and I really wanted to live a life that meant something more, that was fueled by the power of the Holy Spirit.
So the song was the start...a spark to make me ask the questions, "What am I doing with my life? Am I really leading a life that has been transformed? And maybe, more importantly, if I had to stand before God in that moment, Would He say that I was living a life that had been transformed AND that was transforming the lives of others?"
And when I asked those questions, I wasn't very happy with the answers. And I am grateful to God that He gave me the courage not just to ask the questions, but to hear the truthful answers, and then to have the boldness to make a change.
So that was the start, and now just over a year later, I'm still looking to God to change me from the inside out...to teach me to be still enough to hear and recognize His voice, to be aware enougth to see where He is moving and jump in and be a part of what His mission is, to be sensitive enough to be moved by what moves Him, to be humble enough to see where I still need to surrender to Him, and to be willing enough to go where He leads.
Two WOW Moment Scriptures for today....when God speaks a Scripture to you in different ways...you'd better take notice....I read both of these Scriptures in my devotions this week, and they were used today in Sunday School. So I had to take a moment to recognize God speaking....
Philippians 3: 10, "I want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in His suffering, becoming like Him in His death."
Matthew 22:37, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind."
Please don't be satisfied to go through the motions...it's never too late to take that first step to leading a truly Christ-transformed life.
To listen to "The Motions" Click to see video...
Friday, January 7, 2011
A Tribute
Today is my mom's birthday and she is 70 years old! She's not the techy sort so she'll probably never get to read this, but I had to take time today to write this tribute to her.
My mom sacrificed so much so that my brother, my sister, and I be provided for. She always made sure that we had the necessities of life, but also that we had a home where we knew we were loved.
I know that she prayed for us and still does. She made sure that we were in church and Sunday School and that she was also active in serving the Lord. Sunday School was the first place that the gospel seed was planted in my heart when I heard the story of the Prodigal Son. It would take me some time to see myself as the prodigal eating at the pig trough....but definitley my mom's influence contributed to me meeting my Heavenly Father.
At Christmas, my mom always had a present under the tree for just about everyone....and no I don't mean just the folks in my house. She has always had a generous spirit and literally there were so many presents under our tree, that they were not "under" the tree, but literally spilled out onto every surface in our living room.
My mom has to be one of the most selfless people I know, even more so that I. When the Bible says if your neighbor asks for your coat, give him your shirt as well, that's my mom. She would give you her last and never expect anything in return.
I am more than grateful that God has allowed my mom to still be here with us, to see the woman I have become, to share her life with my children. I am thankful that He has blessed her these 70 years.
Happy Birthday Mother Dear!!
In honor of my Mom and yours...I could think of no better tribute than "A Song for Mama" Click the link to listen. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tap90z44WR8
PHOTO CAPTION: This is one of my favorite photos because it's me, my mom, Avis Travers, and my daughter Sydney.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Your Own Private WOW Moment
2010 was a mixed year for me...with some really high highs like getting my book "10 Things Every Kid Should Know About God" published and then some really low lows like losing my father-in-law very unexpectedly.But throughout it all, God continued to remind me to just keep putting one foot in front of the other...to trust Him even when uncertainly seemed present on every hand, and to praise Him in spite of the circumstances. This was not the first time God had reminded me of these things, but I certainly appreciated Him loving me enough to gently remind me again.
So...although I don't make New Year's resolutions, I will say that my goal in 2011 is to learn to be content.
We were given a homework assignment in church not too long, and I think recapping it is a great way to start off my quest toward contentment.
We were asked to write down what we were thankful for....in less than 5 minutes, here is how my list started....so it's my WOW Moment today....a Thank You God for what He's already done....
I'M THANKFUL FOR:
Salvation, my growing faith in Christ, God's grace and mercy, my marriage, my family.....
Lord I'm grateful for your presence in my life, that I get to walk with you and know you the Creator
For friendships, for gifts/abilities, for the joy of small things like laughing until you cry at something silly, for hugs and kisses, for getting to see my kids grow up, for being able to be involved in their lives, for a church that teaches your Word, for the opportunity to serve, encourage, and bless others
Thank you Lord for life, for health, for love....Thank you for safety, provisions, for the power of prayer to change things, Thank you for what you've done in my life, Thanks for keeping me, Thanks for hearing me when I pray and for picking me up when I fall
God did all of that and more for me in 2010, and though many times I whined and complained, I am even more Thankful that His love covers a multitude of sins, even my own self-centeredness....
So that's my WOW Moment today....I hope you will take the time to start a list of all that God has done in your life and then stand in AWE of who He is and have your own private WOW Moment with God.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
No dreams deferred
Not too long ago I was going through some old files and I came across a newsletter article I had planned to write called, "There are no deferred dreams with our God." To defer means to intentionally put off or delay. But don't we have dreams that are delayed?I would answer NO. My WOW Moment today is realizing that God's timing is perfect...and where I see delay, it is simply not the right time. God is always at work to accomplish His perfect will and in due time it will be accomplished.
What we see as delay is our failure to see that we have not yet arrived at God's appointed time. And so, in many cases, we give up on a dream that God has planted in our hearts, or we become discouraged.
So I say to you today. Keep the faith. Lift up your face. Be encouraged. "He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it." Philippians 1:6
Trust God...not in what you can see, not in your circumstances, not even in yourself. Trust the One who never changes, who is faithful, who cannot lie. If God has given you a dream, a vision, then it is never deferred. Wait on His timing, and then rejoice when He brings it to completion. Give Him the glory because it is only through Him that any dream is realized.
Just believe it TODAY. And trust God to grow your faith. I leave you with this prayer found in Ephesians Chapter 3, Verses 16-21.
"I pray that from His glorious, unlimited resources He will empower you with inner strength through His Spirit. Then Christ will make His home in your hearts as you trust in Him. Your roots will grow down into God's love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how deep His love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. Now all glory to God, who is able, through His mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Glory to Him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen."
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