I was thinking about
my grandmother, Marece Wall. Her birthday was yesterday, February 15. I wanted
to honor her in remembering her birthday. So let me tell you about my
grandmother.
You see, she could
grow anything. She could literally pinch a shoot off a plant she liked. Then, she
would place that bud in water where it would grow spindly roots like hundreds
of white pieces of thread under her watchful eye. When it was ready, she would
take this delicate new sprout and push it down into nutrient-rich soil. With
her gentle care, she tended this young plant until it thrived.
My grandmother understood
that growth is a process. It doesn’t happen all at once, but is a natural occurrence
characterized by gradual, yet continuing, changes. I learned a lot from my
grandmother. I’m condensing those lessons in a six steps to help you. Think of the acronym GROWTH.
First, give of
yourself. Many times when we want to
see change, we look to our spouse and say, “If only he would do this or that”
or we look at our children and think “If they only behaved this way.” Then
what? The answer is we assume we would be happier or our lives would be less
stressful.
In order to see growth in others, we have to start with
ourselves. It may mean making changes in our attitudes, behaviors, or
expectations. In some cases, it may actually mean giving more of our time to
invest in our families.
Second, replenish
your body and spirit. We can never have enough to give to others without
taking time to replenish ourselves. That means taking time to replenish your
energy, to revitalize your body, and regenerate your spirit. My friend Christina calls that self-care.
You can only be your best when you take time out each day
for yourself. You have to designate time for yourself. Whether it’s a half-hour
to read a book, take a bubble bath, go for a walk, even watch your favorite TV
show, take time for something that personally brings you joy. It is a time to
unwind and gear up for another day. Take time to meditate, write in a journal,
spend time in prayer or reading your Bible to renew your Spirit.
These are ways to refill your tank so that you have more of
yourself to give. None of us are at our best when we are burned out, stressed
out, have not had enough sleep, or sometimes didn’t have time to eat. Take care
of yourself so that you can take care of those you love.
Then, open your mind.
Many of us get into a rut with our relationships. Break out of the box. Listen to new ideas. Consult friends who
have older children to see what methods may have worked for them. Talk to women
who have been married for some time. Subscribe to magazines that will give you
parenting tips, ideas for meals, other suggestions. Use discernment. Evaluate
what will work for you. Be willing to try some new things, even if you
find they need to be tweaked. Since Ecclesiastes says “there is nothing new
under the sun,” you may be surprised to find the timely advice that God
provides if you will take the time to read His Word.
Equally important is weathering
the difficult times that come with transitional periods. It is said, “A gem
cannot be polished without friction.” In all relationships there are difficult
times. Trials and tribulations can be the doorway that takes you to the next
level in your faith, in your love, or in the development of your own character
or that of those you love. Learn to weather the storm together.
Develop life strategies that allow your family to support
and encourage one another during your most difficult times. That does not mean
denying problems, or turning a blind eye to things that are wrong. It does mean
showing your love even more when it would be easier to walk away.
Next, teach what you
have learned. We grow when each of us learns to invest our lives into someone else’s. Like my grandmother, I have committed to pass on my knowledge, wisdom, and experiences and entrusting them to my children to reach future generations. Another part
of this principle is gleaning from your elders. Take time out to really spend time with
your grandparents, parents, aunts and uncles, and other older members of your
family. Don’t forget older people in your neighborhood that can also be a
source of wisdom.
Finally, heal your
heart. To see real growth in yourself and those around you, you need to heal: get
rid of bitterness, deal with past hurts, forgive those who have wronged you,
release the anger that can linger after you have been hurt or perceived that
you have been hurt.
Bitterness, resentment, unforgiveness, anger are all
negative emotions. They can eat away at you when you harbor these emotions
instead of hurting those whom the emotions are toward. In essence, holding on
to these kinds of feelings does more damage to you. This is especially true within
your household
.
Remember the definition of growth: it’s a process, a natural phenomenon marked by gradual
changes that lead toward a particular result or a natural continuing activity
or function. The result you are looking for is to be whole, to be the best you,
to have each member of your family to be their best.
My grandmother understood these principles when it came to
providing love and support to a budding plant, but even more when it came to
our family. “Let this mind be in you,” says Philippians 2:5 and see what takes
root.
Happy Birthday Mae!
